As we grow older and wiser, those of us on the Autism Spectrum begin to understand some things we never understood growing up or, sometimes, even during our early adulthood years. Concepts such as the many aspects of social boundaries and social vetting (self-promotion) begin to dawn on us rather late. We don't really care a whole lot more for these things, but we simply realize that these are necessary labors to maintaining relationships and avoiding those who would unfairly take advantage of us. Along with myself, I personally know of several who are currently going through this difficult process of cognitive adjustment. While difficult, it is tremendously rewarding as we slowly and steadily accumulate a coterie of close and dear friends, and become wise to the hallmark patterns of solicitous self-promoters, slanderous professionals, and sociopaths who would treat us without conscience at all.
This process is made more difficult by some in state disability service and vocational rehab agencies who believe they are the ultimate authorities and arbiters of what we are capable of and what we "must or must not" be allowed to do in terms of career choices, social activities, living arrangements, and intimate relationships. Some assume that a broken home, psychological trauma (family death, divorce, etc.), or lack of normative communication skills, necessitates a pharmacological solution as a predicate to services of ANY kind, be it psychological therapy, social skills training, vocational training and placement, or housing assistance. Those who would medicate us without understanding how we adapt to life's difficulties, how we managed to survive before we turned to them for help, are NOT doing us a favor with this approach.
If we are seeking social skills training because our social communication issues are making an intimate relationship rocky, for example, that doesn't mean that we need pharmacological treatment for our "depression" and a months-long waiting period before we are "ready for group". This is great for the careers of the treatment professionals. In the meantime, the relationship has ended and the resulting depression is having consequences on sleep and work performance. But wait! It's state services to the rescue once again! It's no wonder so many on the Spectrum have become trapped in a cycle of dependency, not unlike the welfare boondoggle of the 1970's. Of course, I am writing from the perspective of having been relegated to playing ball with state services or getting put on endless "waiting lists" that are the equivalent of warehousing in the State of Massachusetts, but I have read of similar complaints from those in other states as well. This type of "treatment" on the state providers' terms rather than on the client's terms (as in normal doctor-patient relationships) is a broken horse that needs to be put out of its misery.
H&R Block offers many tax preparation courses to those who wish or must prepare their own taxes. H&R Block does an excellent job of providing this service to millions of American families each year. But what if the IRS decided that, because of our social-communication issues or neurocognitive affect, we needed to be evaluated on a pharmacological treatment before being allowed to enroll in such a course? If they received a set amount of public money per patient that more than offset their costs of filing extensions on our behalf, why not provide the extra service for us? In fact, why not penalize us for not acceding to their "treatment" so we can learn how to get our taxes done and paid on time? After all, we're "special" and deserve "special treatment" from IRS Big Mac Daddy. We want to make sure that underpaid and underserved people on the Autism Spectrum are paying their fair share into the system, by whatever means is most expedient, right? Sounds ridiculous, but that's exactly how some state services behave toward those who demand more customized service than they are able to give, and more respect than they are willing to show. So long as they are legally detailed to "help" us, no civil liberty is too high a price to sacrifice on our behalf.
That is why I am ending this first blog entry with Bon Jovi's anthem for our generation.
"It's my life! It's now or never! I ain't gonna live forever! I just want to live while I'm alive!"
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